There are lots of strengths to this film, and you have worked hard on effects. I do think you need to create a clearer signal to the spectator that the film story has ended - this explains at least one of the comments on youtube doesn't it? Let's discuss this again and see what you can do to improve it at the end.
I'm rather surprised that you haven't responded to this very significant problem with the film, or come to see me about it. This shows that you are not consulting over ways to improve. See me on Monday.
Can you please also upload this via our channel on youtube? This makes it less likely it will be removed by youtube at some point, as ours is an education channel. Then re-upload to the blog.
Obviously the numbers above peoples heads was a very impressive effect that must have taken you ages. I personally think though that you should have shown that seeing these numbers was something personal to her by perhaps only having the numbers when in point of view.. and when it wasnt POV not having them. I think that the bully at the begining should have been more obvious (shown her face) so that we understand that it was the bully that the girl saved at the end. Storyline wise again it was a good overall concept as it had a moral that could be completed within a short film but the fact that you didnt really focus on that let it down as it wasnt clear at times what it was about. The idea of the time running out being shown by the girl commiting suide was another good idea but I felt it was under-excuted and rushed was what it seemed like becuase you didnt have her reacting as someone would to someone jumping off a building in front of them. The range of shots you got was really good though and kept it interesting. Sorry to be so negative guys but think of it as constructuive criticism (theres more to write about this way).
There are lots of strengths to this film, and you have worked hard on effects. I do think you need to create a clearer signal to the spectator that the film story has ended - this explains at least one of the comments on youtube doesn't it? Let's discuss this again and see what you can do to improve it at the end.
ReplyDeleteI'm rather surprised that you haven't responded to this very significant problem with the film, or come to see me about it. This shows that you are not consulting over ways to improve. See me on Monday.
ReplyDeleteCan you please also upload this via our channel on youtube? This makes it less likely it will be removed by youtube at some point, as ours is an education channel. Then re-upload to the blog.
ReplyDeleteObviously the numbers above peoples heads was a very impressive effect that must have taken you ages. I personally think though that you should have shown that seeing these numbers was something personal to her by perhaps only having the numbers when in point of view.. and when it wasnt POV not having them. I think that the bully at the begining should have been more obvious (shown her face) so that we understand that it was the bully that the girl saved at the end. Storyline wise again it was a good overall concept as it had a moral that could be completed within a short film but the fact that you didnt really focus on that let it down as it wasnt clear at times what it was about. The idea of the time running out being shown by the girl commiting suide was another good idea but I felt it was under-excuted and rushed was what it seemed like becuase you didnt have her reacting as someone would to someone jumping off a building in front of them. The range of shots you got was really good though and kept it interesting. Sorry to be so negative guys but think of it as constructuive criticism (theres more to write about this way).
ReplyDelete